Why I Love Having Imposter Syndrome.
How Imposter Syndrome made me a best selling author
Image from Google
Imposter syndrome is characterised by feeling inadequate like you are an imposter in the field you are working in. In layman’s terms, you fear that everyone around you will suddenly find out you don’t have a clue what you’re doing. Join the club.
I have had (and still do) Imposter Syndrome since I published my first novel, and every subsequent novel thereafter. I get it whenever I do an interview, get a great message from a fan, or tell someone what I do for a living. Whenever someone highlights an issue with a story, I hastily rush to fix it. If I get a bad review. If I get trolled. At any moment, I fear will be exposed as a charlatan, and be cast outside into the rain and mud.
And yet, I embrace it. Here’s why –
Image from Google
Why do we have this feeling? Well, put simply, it comes down to two things –
1 – We care about what we’re doing.
One of the fundamental reasons that Imposter Syndrome can be so prevalent in our minds is that we are working on something we care about. We spend hours at the desk in solitude, crafting a world, characters, and storyline to share it with the world. It’s our passion that keeps us up late into the night, day after day, working away at our creation. If we didn’t give a shit, then we wouldn’t care if we succeeded or failed, and we would simply stop when it got hard.
2 – We lack confidence in our own abilities.
This is the biggie right here. We lack self-confidence in our abilities. We take every negative comment and every bad review to heart. It breaks the fragility of our confidence, and we find ourselves crying into our half-completed manuscript. But this is real life, guys. There are no safe spaces here. Suck it up and roll with it.
Image from Google
How do we overcome imposter syndrome? This is very simple. Are you ready?
You outwork your self-doubt. Read that again.
You must outwork that feeling of thinking that you aren’t good enough. You must identify the reason why you feel the way you do. Is it because you don’t feel like you know enough about the subject you are in? Well, then learn more. Read books on the subject. Research your industry. Speak to others in the world you have found yourself in. Try new things. New ways of doing what you’re doing. You can never know too much.
If it’s monetary or scalability on your business, then go back to basics. What makes your product unique? Who is your target market? Identify who these people are, and then build connections with them. Start from the bottom again, and work through the fundamentals. You can move up a rung on the ladder when you have a strong foundation.
Image from Google
Don’t stop creating.
Many writers have written tonnes of books that barely moved off the shelves, but they kept going at it. They kept working, building a fan base, and improving their craft.
Comparison is the Thief of Joy.
I love that saying, as cliché as it is, because it’s so true. If you compare yourself to JK Rowling or George R R Martin when you haven’t released your first book, then you will never write a single word. But here’s the secret – at one point, they were just like you - staring at a dog shit first draft and feeling sick at the sight of it. We only see people when they are successful. We don’t see the thousands of hours they invested into their craft with nothing happening.
Image from Google
Use Your Current Successes as Evidence.
Remember when you got that awesome review? Released that new book? Got a message from someone you had never spoken to who told you that they loved your work? Those examples are all evidence that you are doing what you are meant to be doing, and that you are good at it. Use that knowledge, that back catalogue, as fuel to your fire when moving forward and upskilling. Acknowledge what you did in the past, identify any mistakes you have made, and then learn from them. Identify, refine, and replicate.
Imposter syndrome is the vulture on our shoulders. It’s that part of our brains that tells us that we aren’t cut out to be doing what we’re doing, regardless of all the evidence surrounding us that tells us the contrary. We can focus on the one thing that isn’t going right and lose sight of all the things around us that got us to our position in the first place. In other words, you can’t see the forest because you’re focusing on a single tree.
Imposter syndrome isn’t a bad thing. Welcome it into your life. Let that fear of failure, getting it wrong, and not being good enough propel you into work and learning. Only through hard work and dedication to what you’re doing, bit by bit, will you get where you need to be.
Stepping out of your comfort zone will always lead to self-doubt. You’re going against the curve, putting your head above the firing line. But if you work at it, maybe in a year, maybe ten, you will get where you want to be. The best time to plant a tree was yesterday. The second-best time is now.
Creating a business is like trying to paint a mountain one layer of paint at a time. It’s a huge task, but little by little, effort after effort, you will get there.
Jay Darkmoore
Jay Darkmoore is a UK best-selling author with a background in crime and investigation. He is a huge fan of all things dark - exploring the macabre, demonic and darker aspects of the human psyche.
Jay likes putting his characters in terrible situations and then turning out all the lights. To date, he has self-published novels of horror, crime and dark fantasy dystopia. His inspirations are Stephen King, Keith C Blackmore and Nick Cutter.
When not at his desk, Jay spends his free time making YouTube videos to help writers in their craft, promoting other books he has enjoyed, as well as hitting the gym and taking wild cold plunges with ducks.
He is a single parent to his son Joe who is his biggest fan.
Support the author by signing up for his newsletter at jaydarkmooreauthor.com for exclusive content.
How to Write a Psychopath
How to write a psychopath in your book, and why you should.
American Psycho
Psychopaths are incredibly fun to read in books and watch on the big screen and have been popularised by some very infamous and somewhat controversial films and books, from American Psycho written by Bret Easton Ellis, Hannibal Lecter by Thomas Harris and even James Bond by Ian Fleming.
But why is it that these characters have captured both love and fear in our hearts? What is it about them that makes us want to know more? Is it their propensity to violence? Their ability to be cunning and manipulative without feeling any remorse? Is it their self-confidence and being able to think under pressure? Whatever the reason, our hearts have a soft place in them for psychopaths in literature.
In this blog, I am going to tell you how to create your very own in your fiction, and it will maybe help you spot these same traits in other characters you enjoy.
Hannibal Lecter
Traits of a psychopath –
Most Psychopaths are male, with them making up approx. 1% of the population, and are estimated to make up 50 – 80% of the prison population. Women that show high traits of Psychopathy are more likely to be diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, which along with Psychopathy, is a ‘Cluster B’ personality disorder along with Narcissism and Histrionic Personality Disorder as outlined in the Diagnostical and Statistical Manual Version 5 (DSM – 5 for short) of the American Psychiatric Association.
Psychopathy lends itself to having many different traits, all of which are useful in certain situations, and can even benefit those in certain careers (below). Most people can dial these traits down as and when they need them, but a psychopath can’t and would always have these traits on the high setting in their brains.
These are low empathy, impulsivity, calm under pressure, manipulative, charming, ruthlessness and emotionally detached and show a lack of remorse for their actions.
James Bond
This list can make for some fantastic characters and even make for some fantastic story arcs. Maybe a character is charming and loving, and then later down the line, we see that it was all manipulation to convince someone to give up their life savings, and then abandon them. Tinder Swindler, anyone?
Or maybe we have a character that is a military soldier, a warrior, who is ruthless and can cut through the enemy without a shred of remorse? A police officer who will do anything to crack the case, or a surgeon who has the steadiest hand to make that vital, life-saving cut with everything on the line?
Psychopaths make for excellent characters. They make incredibly fun heroes to write about, and add a lot more depth to the ‘bad guy.’ We can look into their childhood, in that a psychopathic person would have normally come from some kind of abusive childhood, and uses psychopathy as a way to navigate the world based off of that. It gives the character more back story. More depth.
Professor Kevin Dutton
According to psychologist Professor Kevin Dutton, most psychopaths are split into two categories. Those with high traits and a low propensity to commit violence, and those with high psychopathic traits and a higher propensity to violence.
Those that are of lower violent tendencies are more likely to be characterised by high-pressure positions, such as politicians, CEOs, police officers, lawyers and high-end athletes. These could make for some great characters and some side characters, and maybe even a villain or two in there? Maybe the villain is a top businessman of a rival company that is trying to sabotage the hero’s chances at getting their foot on the corporate ladder? Or even a detective that drinks too much and is emotionally vacant when around other people, but is ruthless and driven to catch the bad guy?
Jack Torrance - The Shining
The psychopaths that are high in psychopathic traits with a higher level of predisposition to violence would be our classical villains such as serial killers, a criminal mob boss and even a soldier that has gone rogue.
Psychopaths make for great foreshadowing opportunities too, as they can be very manipulative. In your story, you can have the psychopath dropping hints and leaving clues for the rest of the characters to find, and then when the big reveal comes later in the book, the reader can connect the dots and have the ‘Oh my god!’ moment that we all love to create when they figure it all out.
Lorna - By Jay Darkmoore
In my dark romance ‘Lorna,’ the main character in the story ‘Christian’ is a psychopath, and he will stop at nothing to not only win the heart of Lorna, his new infatuation but also kill and destroy the lives of anyone that dares stand in his way.
Order it here on kindle unlimited today.
Psychopaths are so much fun to write and can offer a lot of depth to your characters and the story. Even just highlighting certain traits outlined above and giving them to your characters can make a lot of difference to your writing.
Have fun with it and thank you for reading.
But what about other writing ideas? What about being able to break through writer’s block?
Interview with FELIX BLACKWELL, author of Stolen Tongues
Interview with the author of Stolen Tongues, Felix Blackwell
Stolen Tongues
In 2022, I stumbled upon the book Stolen Tongues by the independent author Felix Blackwell.
With a love of horror, and a flare for the craft myself, I downloaded the book and set dove head first into this tortured tale. I finished the book within a few short days, unable to put it down and unable to sleep as a result.
The book is phenomenal: drawing on the fear of the unknown, the dark and that someone (something) may be feeding off the unconscious mind of a loved one and you can do nothing but watch them dissolve into insanity. It reminded me of two tales I am fond of -
The Babadook - A movie in which an entity is personified as grief and slowly eats away at the protagonist that is gripped in an unconscious battle with unresolved trauma, like a rotten tooth that is left to fester.
It Follows - A brilliant tale of something unknown is following you. Its origin and motivations are unknown, other than it is unseen other than those afflicted by its curse, and it will stop at nothing until it has devoured you.
The book draws you in from the beginning, and the vice grip of terror doesn’t relent until the final page. Felix creates a terrifying tale laced with love, loathing, mystery and desperation. Not to mention the psychological and mental illness themes that run through the narrative, all to concoct a wicked tale of hellish brilliance.
As I enjoyed this book so much, I decided to reach out to the master of horror himself, and he kindly allowed me to pick his hellish mind.
Felix Blackwell - Facebook
The Interview
Firstly Felix, I would like to begin by saying I am thrilled that you have agreed to do this. I really enjoyed your work, and I reached out on a whim. It shows how much you care for those that take the time to read your work in that you are happy to speak to them and answer a few questions they might have.
JD – So, when did you begin writing?
F.B – I started writing poetry and flash fiction around age seven. My mom has been a writer her entire life, so I used to watch her do it as a kid, and I began imitating her as I got older. A pivotal moment in my early writing life was a two-page fantasy story I was assigned to write in fifth grade; I had so much fun with it that I turned in something like 25 pages. It did not go over well with the teacher.
JD – When did you start taking things seriously?
F.B – An unpublished video game I wrote between 2006-09 was the first thing I put professional-grade effort into. I built the world, developed the characters and history, wrote all the quests, etc. It was the first major project I had ever brought to completion. My intention was to sell the intellectual property to a video game company because I had friends in the industry. In the end, nobody wanted it, and I realized I was just a starry-eyed nobody who wanted to live the dream of writing game lore. Since then, I’ve converted the game into a universe in which I’m writing two fantasy novels. I have yet to publish one of those, but I plan to within the next few years, after a few more urgent horror novels.
JD – Where did the idea of Stolen Tongues come from?
F.B – Stolen Tongues came from my partner’s sleep disorder, and a very talkative parrot I used to know. I thought up the idea of a creepy entity trying to interrogate her as she talked in her sleep, and later I decided it should imitate humans through observation and interaction, much like the parrot. I grew up in Colorado, so that felt like a natural setting for the story.
JD – How did you feel having both yourself and your partner as the characters of the story? Is there any truth to the character’s personalities compared to yourselves in real life?
F.B – The characters are mostly based on our real personalities, with a few details changed. She is tough, fiery, and loves taking naps; I am much more of a reader than a fighter, so I’d be as ineffective as Felix in a confrontation with an interdimensional parrot-monster.
JD – Stolen Tongues has had a lot of success. Tell me how that happened?
F.B – It was dumb luck. I posted a story to NoSleep and it went to the front page of Reddit within a few hours. From there, I converted it into a full novel, and people have been sharing it all over social media ever since. I did zero marketing and frankly did not expect the story to get virtually any attention. It was written stream-of-consciousness style and did not have the proper planning of my other works. I’m still shocked it’s more popular than In the Devil’s Dreams, which I consider to be a superior example of my writing style.
JD – The story reminded me of The Babadook, in which you deal with trauma and grief in a manifestation which follows a person around and breaks them down. Was that intentional? What was the inspiration for that?
F.B – I personally don’t think of the Impostor as a metaphorical manifestation of negative emotions (but if you like those types of monsters, In the Devil’s Dreams is chock-full of them). But I do see the similarities. The Impostor, to me, is a very real entity whose origins are unknown, and who is especially drawn to people with hidden trauma – for reasons that will be explored to a deeper level in the upcoming prequel novel. The inspiration for the metaphorical creatures I do write, however, probably comes from my boundless love of the Silent Hill franchise.
JD – Have you had any formal training of writing?
F.B – I sometimes argue that the great lesson of college and graduate school, for me, was not the body of knowledge associated with the degrees I earned, but rather the study of writing itself. I didn’t teach for many years before switching careers, but I certainly gained most of what I know about writing – fiction and academic – from my years at study. And I still use that training every day.
JD – You have released further books. Tell me about those?
F.B – In the Devil’s Dreams is a densely metaphorical, unreliably narrated psychological thriller told out of chronological order. It will be an ordeal for some readers, but for me, it was an act of self-help after exiting an unhealthy relationship. It is about pain, loss, and the wounds we all conceal from each other. The Cold People is an anthology comprised of short horror stories written by me and my close friend, Colin J. Northwood. It contains early sketches of the ideas that later became Stolen Tongues.
JD – Plotter, panzer, or something in between?
F.B – I’m the most devout plotter I know. I worldbuild and plot so much that by the time I start writing the manuscript, 90% of the work is already done. Structure and scaffolding hold up a good story, and I think it’s the most important skill a writer can develop. I’m still working on it…
JD – Whose writing are you influenced by?
F.B – Mary Shelley and Dan Simmons were my favorite horror authors when I was younger, and a few years ago I finally sat down and actually read much of Lovecraft’s bibliography. I would say his work, and the other titans of weird fiction after him, have had a greater influence on my recent writing than anyone else I’ve ever read. Lovecraft truly disturbs me to my core.
JD – What got you into writing?
F.B – I always had a lot of big feelings when I was younger. I realized in my teens that the only way I could accurately express them was through an instrument, or through a pen. So I do both now. I wanted to make other people feel the way my favorite music and books made me feel.
JD – Stolen Tongues has opted for a film. Can you share anything about that?
F.B – It’s been optioned several times and passed around Hollywood a bit. A few scripts have been written for it. So far, the next major step, which is securing a partnership between the screenplay writers and the production company, has not yet come to pass. I wish I could say more but I’ve signed a lot of contracts. When there is real news to share, I’ll be screaming it from the top of Pale Peak.
JD – Do you write in other genres or just horror?
F.B – I’ve got a fantasy and a psychological thriller in development, but they’re sort of on hold while I work on the Stolen Tongues prequel.
JD – Any marketing tips? How do you promote yourself?
F.B – I have never really marketed myself. I just got lucky and had people review my work a lot on social media. I do sometimes interact with readers in the online book clubs, but I have never paid a service to increase my SEO or stick my book on the front page of an ebook newsletter or anything like that. I feel a lot of those services are scammy and should probably be avoided. Success is fickle in this industry, and I have to say, I read more talented and more creative writers than me every single day… fate could have chosen any one of them instead. It’s all so random.
JD – What challenges did you face when writing Stolen Tongues?
F.B – Stolen Tongues was originally a one-off short story that I submitted to NoSleep, just to see if maybe ten people liked my writing style enough to upvote it. When I saw that it had gone viral, I hurriedly wrote a second entry, and then a third… I think I ended up at like nineteen entries, and all of these were written without much of a plan. I remember standing at a bus stop at the base of campus, wondering alongside all the other readers just how the hell I was going to end the story – on the night before the final entry was set to come out. NEVER AGAIN.
JD – You dip into Native American lore and culture in the book. How did you find doing this?
F.B – I was in graduate school working on my Master’s thesis in American History at the time I started writing Stolen Tongues. I was doing a few major projects on Indigenous histories, and was particularly moved by an ethnography I’d read about the Western Apache. Then I read a book about the Comanche empire, and then I got into Ned Blackhawk’s Violence over the Land. All of that material, and the seminars it was assigned in, caused a huge shift in consciousness for me. I wanted to include Indigenous characters and their personal histories and complicated encounters with Western conceptions of them into my writing. I think ultimately I just wanted to start a conversation about Indigenous people in the horror genre.
JD – What does your writing process look like?
F.B – I write a book in three stages: the first is catching all of the associated characters, plots, settings, and ideas into a physical journal. That’s my favorite part, and I do that for several months. Then I start organizing and refining all of that raw material into a more honed project. That’s the hardest part. And when that’s done, the easiest part is just taking that project apart, piece by piece, and converting each piece into a chapter. None of this happened with Stolen Tongues by the way. I completely winged that shit due to time constraints, and it shows. I only had seven months to convert that story series into a novel because of a poorly selected Kickstarter due date.
JD – You rose to infamy with the story on Reddit. Tell me how that happened? Describe to me the process and any issues/highs/lows you felt?
F.B – I talked a bit about this earlier, but the whole thing felt totally surreal. Never before had anyone appreciated my writing, and suddenly I had tens of thousands of people reading my story all over the world. Every single email and personal message I got blew my mind. The thing that I still can’t believe, even to this day, is stumbling upon conversations online where people are debating the symbolism and characters. Totally unreal.
JD – I have a tonne of other questions to ask, but I think this might be the biggest one. What advice would you give to someone that is thinking of starting their own writing career?
F.B – Write because you feel compelled to do so at the level of your soul. If you write with the intention of “making it” financially, you will very likely be disappointed. Let any financial success be an unexpected bonus. Write a few times a week, and make sure all of your content is high-quality – it represents you.
JD – Closing thoughts. Is there anything you would like to say about yourself, or your work? Leave the readers with something to think about?
F.B – Many of your lingering questions about Stolen Tongues will be addressed in the prequel novel. And that novel will be a surprise, for a lot of reasons.
Felix Blackwell was summoned from the bowels of reddit after a botched summoning ritual. He writes in the horror, thriller, and fantasy genres.