The Nine Traits Of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (and Why You Only Need To Know ONE).
Narcissism is on the rise. That much is clear. So, it’s important that we know how to identify someone quickly who is high in narcissistic traits. Below, I have outlined the nine traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, under the acronym SPECIAL ME. Plus, I have included the only reason you should ever truly need to know you’re dealing with a particularly toxic individual.
Remember, you only need to score highly in five of these traits to be classified as having NPD.
S – Sense of Importance.
Does the person you are dealing with believe that they should receive special treatment wherever they go? Do they fly into a rage or into a tantrum quickly when hearing the word ‘No’? If that is the case, you might be dealing with a toxic individual who believes that they are the centre of the universe.
P – Preoccupation with power, beauty or success.
‘I deserve to be famous!’ ‘I deserve that promotion!’ ‘No, let me post our photos so I know they’re done right, and I look great.’ Sound familiar?
Narcissistic people believe that they are above other people, and that they should get the best in life, regardless of merit or if they have worked for it. It should be awarded to them because they are them. As for beauty, narcissists project the image of perfection to the world, so they must control what others see. An unflattering photograph is a smudge on their mirror, and that simply won’t do.
E – Entitled.
Narcissists believe that they are entitled to have whatever they want, whenever they want it. This means your attention, your money, your sex, and your energy. And when they have sucked you dry and you can no longer give them what they want, they will move onto the next. See also ‘Vampire.’
C – Can only be around people that are important or special.
You know that person who is always sucking up to the boss, or that person who has to be with the cool kids? Yup. It’s for their own self-worth. If they’re around successful people, it’s so that they can feel and appear successful to others.
I – Interpersonally exploitative for their own gain.
Anyone who has dated a narcissist will know exactly what is meant by this. Family. Friends. Co-workers and especially romantic partners will all know that the narcissist must be admired, and that they are highly manipulative for their own gain. They do not see you as another person. They see you as an extension of themselves. As someone who must serve them, or they are erased from their life, and if this supply of love and attention was to criticize the narcissists, then you better be ready or the rage that comes afterwards.
A - Arrogance.
Have you ever told a narcissist, no? Told them that they can’t have or do something that they want to do? Or have you ever shown them that what they are doing is wrong? They twist it so you’re in the wrong. It’s what they do. You cannot tell a narcissist ‘no.’ You cannot make them give a genuine apology, because to apologise or to accept wrongdoing or fault means that they are not perfect, and they cannot and will not admit this.
L - Lack of empathy.
A narcissist doesn’t care that you’re crying or your hurt. It doesn’t benefit them. They cannot feel bad for you. They don’t know what it is. A narcissists heart is a cold rock that barely beats. They show no emotion to others unless it benefits them in some way. They do not care that they cheated on you, lied or stole from you. In their minds, they were justified to do such things, and you are the problem for getting upset over it.
Read ‘Should I Stay or Should I Go,’ by Prof. Ramani Durvasula PhD.
M – Must be admired.
Rinse. Repeat. It’s exhausting.
E – Envious of others, or believes others are envious of them.
If someone has more than them, they want it, hence why they hang around with the high rollers. Or they believe people are envious of them, which is why they gloat and project their success so much.
But the biggest sign that you are dealing with a toxic person is this.
You are reading this article. You are looking online for answers. You are searching on YouTube for narcissism or toxic relationships or something along those lines. Put simply, if everything was okay, then you wouldn’t be so confused.
Listen to that voice in your mind telling you something isn’t right. It’s trying to help you.
Jay Darkmoore is a crime and horror author with a background in crime and investigation, researching topics such as narcissism, coercive control and stalking behaviours.
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