Baby Reindeer – A Deep Dive into the Stalking Psychology and Behaviour of Martha.
Baby Reindeer as seen on Netflix
Baby Reindeer, the Netflix international breakthrough hit of struggling comedian Richard Gadd (played by himself) who befriends the lonely woman who he meets in a bar named ‘Martha,’ (played by Jessica Gunning) who then proceeds to relentlessly stalk him for over twelve months.
The show not only was a breakthrough due to the brilliant storytelling, the realness and utter unbelievability of what audiences were watching, but it also highlights something that isn’t often spoken about -
Women also stalk men.
Netflix has seen several hit TV shows where the male is the stalker, namely ‘YOU,’ but this show hits home on another terrifying level. There are some crazy, obsessed people out there, and some of them can appear sweet and innocent, just like Martha did.
Who is the real ‘Martha,’ in Baby Reindeer?
The Scottish national Fiona Harvey states that she is the real ‘Martha,’ however she denies the allegations that she has stalked Gadd as laid out in the Netflix series. Harvey appeared on Piers Morgan Uncensored to tell her side of the story, which is available on YouTube.
What mental illness does Martha have in Baby Reindeer?
It is likely that ‘Martha’ also had Borderline Personality Disorder, which is highlighted when Gadd tries to implement boundaries, pull away, or ‘Martha’ finds him with someone else. Although they were never in a relationship, ‘Martha’ perceived it at so. We see during the series that ‘Martha’ becomes increasingly obsessed with Gadd, and that the more he pulls away, the more outraged she becomes.
There is a strong link between stalking (particularly in females), and Borderline Personality Disorder. This is twofold –
1 - Women are more likely to be diagnosed with BPD.
2 - This is a logical link, as sufferers with BPD have a deep-seated fear of abandonment, which means that they can latch onto those around them in unhealthy ways, forming very fast bonds that are very intense very quickly. We see this in abusive relationships where women are the perpetrators. The woman becomes hyper-fixated on their partner, and when the partner tries to draw a boundary or the person with BPD perceives that their partner is pulling away, they can become hostile either to their partner or even to themselves. This is what we see frequently with ‘Martha’ in Baby Reindeer. She wants Gadd to herself and is willing to use violence and intimidation to stop her from being alone. We see that ‘Martha’s’ behaviour is in fact more about her own abandonment not being triggered, rather than her feelings for Gadd. To her, Gadd is the symbol of safety in her childhood, her ‘Baby Reindeer,’ a stuffed toy that she would cuddle when frightened as a child. He is a beacon of safety to her and something she doesn’t want to lose. To ‘Martha,’ losing Gadd is like becoming a terrified child again.
Stalking Behaviour
One of the reasons I believe Martha’s story is based on real events is the stalking behaviour that is exhibited.
Unlike the exaggerated portrayals often seen in Hollywood, 'Baby Reindeer' presents a chillingly realistic depiction of stalking behavior. This authenticity, far from being a deterrent, actually heightens the sense of terror, making the narrative all the more compelling.
We see that ‘Martha’ loiters around Gadd’s home. We see that she attends his place of work frequently. She makes excuses to see him, be in the area, and even checks his social media to find out information about him, such as past relationships. We see that ‘Martha’ calls Gadd hundreds of times, leaving hours and hours of voice messages. She attends where he is holding a gig. She uses pet names for him. Thousands of emails and social media messages. The list goes on. The more Gadd pulls away, the more intense these interactions become.
What kind of stalker is Martha?
‘Martha’ would be classed as the ‘incompetent suitor’ stalker. A lot of people may think that Martha is a rejected stalker (ex-partner), but I don’t believe this to be the case. The two have never been in an intimate relationship or ever formally been in a relationship that was more than platonic. Therefore, they haven’t met the definition of being in a relationship, so the rejected stalker definition wouldn’t apply.
Instead, we see that ‘Martha’ appears to be lower than Gadd on the socio-economic scale, and she doesn’t appear to be able to understand the signals and social cues that Gadd is giving off. For that reason, I believe ‘Martha’ to be portrayed as the ‘incompetent suitor’ type of stalker, of which we see with those that are stalking celebrities, wishing to be close to them and befriend them.
Does Martha know that she is A Stalker?
Unfortunately, stalkers are very good at rationalising their behaviour. If they knew what they were doing was wrong, then they wouldn’t do it. Interviewing a stalker and trying to get them to admit to what they have done, that they have exhibited signs of fixation, Obsessive, Unwanted contact and have done so repeatedly (FOUR), is very difficult.
Stalkers are often highly delusional in that they will still state that they are not a stalker, but they just ‘want to talk,’ or they ‘love them and want to get back with them.’ A stalker will rationalise their behaviour even in the face of compelling evidence. Often, with a rejected stalker, it is more about how the stalker feels than how the victim feels. This, again, means they are less likely to reflect on the harm they are causing to the victim because of their behaviour.
With ‘Martha,’ (as highlighted on the Piers Morgan Uncensored show), Harvey denies the allegations put forward to her and she states that she is the victim and Gadd is the abuser. Who is telling the truth? Only the two of them really know.
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